Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
