Me too!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
