lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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