YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
