No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
