with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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