i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
