I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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