Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
