She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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