it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
