On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
