Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
