You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
