You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
