and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
