The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
