lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think my mom watched the whole time
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
