Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
