So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
