are you still at the devil's house?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just threw up on my dentist
I skipped work to stalk him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
