Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
BRING THE BAGELS
i believe in u and ur pee
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
