one two three fourrrrnication!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
