Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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