i barfeds in our rink
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
