So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
bring money and cleavage
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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