she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
