Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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