finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
