I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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