Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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