Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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