I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I enjoy the company of your penis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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