...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
