I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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