bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
