woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
