I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
