U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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