And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
