Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
