walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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