Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
