I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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