Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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