Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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