Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
