I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Less talking, more tequila
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drake has all the answers
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
