Screwed.edu
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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