Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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